Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

My friend asked my crush and he said my crush hates me but not in a rude way. What does that mean?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

How can I be okay with being ugly? What is the bright side?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why is Reagan seen as the best president in the USA when he literally destroyed the American economy with trickle down system and was strongly against worker unions?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fakery

Would you join a gym or workout at home and why?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I don’t cotton to rapists

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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If someone works for me, I actually pay them

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Why am I so tired of seeing homeless people all over the place?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why is my ping so high in 1 Roblox game but not the other ones? I am also not laggy in my own private server. What is happening?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Do flat Earthers really exist? Why do they believe the Earth is flat?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can count

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

How do you perform a lap dance for your boyfriend or husband?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why all the fuss about Trump’s policy initiatives? Isn’t he just trying to set a moral tone for the Republican Party to make America great again?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What is the worst thing your sibling has done?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I see through liars

I can read

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight